(Picture taken from weheartit.com)
If she hadn’t understood her attempt would be fruitless, she wouldn’t do it. Love confession has always been an enigma for everyone who has experienced a rejection in their lives. The simple things of uttering the truth had become a concept that would tend to be avoided if it is possible as they would endure the excruciating feelings within them of lying to themselves because of their paranoia of being rejected. However, our character doesn’t share the same sentiment as the others as she had fathom that the possibilities of being accepted are none. She had been rejected once, and it was a doleful memory however it wasn’t an obstacle for her to establish her intention to vocalize her feelings, she had planned, she had arranged everything. She had asked him out for the last time before he disappears from her life as their paths don’t cross again. She had seen the way the person had seen them—she had suspected he had seen her as colleagues, a figure who’s passing through in his life as she hadn’t given an remarkable impression upon him but only constant misunderstandings as their interests don’t intertwined, however she had fond of him nonetheless. Even though she didn’t fathom his ambitions or interest, she would merrily listen to it as he tried to do the same to her. They tried, they both tried to make each other happy, even though it laced within their serene silence betwixt them but they were happy. At the beginning, she wouldn’t say those things to him that would change their friendship. She didn’t know how he would react to this hence their meeting for the last time was a fruitless yet alluring day as their hands would intertwined and their mouths move rather erratic because there’s so much to talk but nothing about the truth. Had she refused the idea of confessing to him when she had an opportunity to do so whilst fixated her glance upon his, she eventually regretted the decision she had made. She hadn’t seen him for couple of hours and she had regretted she hadn’t been able to be honest to him, or to herself. Thus she had acknowledged that she wouldn’t be able to utter it in the future as he would forget her so easily because she’s just an additional in his life. Afterwards, she pouring her feelings within a small device and sent it to him. She wanted to say those things in front of him however she was petrified by the reaction she would get; would he be startled? Would he let go of her hand and awkwardly excuse himself to bathroom and trembling in the corner because she knows, he had suffered from anxiety. It took several minutes for him to reply her erratic messages, and he replied it with calm. If only she could see his face, she was irrefutable his messages don’t speak louder than his visage. She had written she didn’t expect anything from her confession because she was fathom, she was aware her attempt was merely a confession, not necessarily expecting he would feel the same however part of her had expected she would say those things, if only. His reply was a long one but he infamously quoted, “I believe when you give your heart, it will be without hesitation. But you cannot give it to me.”
Where in the world did he get an idea to write such thing? As if he was able to justify that he’s not worthy of her love whilst she had given her heart a long time ago, however he had never noticed before. Silly, she hadn’t expected he would say those things therefore she couldn’t reply anything but; “Please don’t act differently now that you know that I like you.” Had she doubted he would act differently after all things they had been gone through, she hadn’t comprehend him completely because he, wouldn’t act differently because he had gone these things several times and he always reject everyone— because he always feels he’s unworthy of love. He wrote, “I should be thankful because you’ve spoken your feelings and understand your own feelings whilst I am dumb.” He had suggested that he didn’t understand his own feelings but she probably dismissed the idea as she was focused on those words, ‘I’m dumb.’ He wasn’t dumb but oblivious. She rebuked, “You are not!!” And he had sent her a meme for their unbearable conversation. And that was it; they’ve forgotten their boundaries as they were feeling comfortable with their honesties, albeit they could see each other no more.
Ald is a person stuck in a perpetual reality as he tried to endure the forlorn life through words and images. Most of his works were drabbles and not displayed in any websites but he’s trying to break that mundane.